No Exit? There is always a choice

Unhappy or Stressed – Take Positive Action


Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable.

Denis Waitley

Surprisingly perhaps there are only three high-level responses to dissatisfaction with job, relationships, situations or even one's lifestyle. It can be summed up with a simple acronym, ACE which stands for:

Accept the Status Quo

Rather than continuing to grumble and struggle one can reconcile one's self to the situation and seek, if not pleasure, at least acceptance of situation. In reality few things are really totally unsatisfactory and if one stops grumbling and actively search out the positives then the irritations can pale into insignificance.

Only seeing the negative aspects creates a vicious circle that drives down mood and creates unhappiness. Pollyanna had it right, look for the good in everything and life is better. Why describing someone as a "Pollyanna" is such a put down is difficult to understand; they create a preferable state of affairs for the individual and those around them. People dislike Jeremiahs even less as they spread doom and gloom.

Change Those Things One Can

If one cannot be reconciled to the current situation then one should still be positive and seek to change those things that cause the problems. Again a positive attitude will be appreciated by those who share the difficulties of the current conditions.

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

If ,even with good will and effort, the difficulties cannot be resolved then there is only one option remaining.

Exit or Leave the Problem Situation

It is not failure for a person to admit that the current situation is not for them and to leave for something more suitable. Struggling on in an unsuitable job, relationship or lifestyle that causes unhappiness would be failure.

Many professional firms adopt an approach called "counselling out" where managers are honest with individuals whose progression in the business is likely to be limited for whatever reason. The individual being counselled is not sacked or made redundant. Many are doing effective jobs but are likely to become increasingly uncomfortable as demands increase and which are not supported by their aptitudes. It gives the person concerned time to review their career and decide what they really want; many find that they were already becoming unhappy and the counselling is just the trigger they need to face their issues. Most go on to find other more suitable roles.

Although it often feels there is no exit there usually is an option. The way out is most obvious in particular aspects of life such as jobs, study or relationships. it can also be applied to overall lifestyle. We only have one life and we should make the most of it so swapping a complete lifestyle is possible rather than just changing aspects of - future articles will set out a manifesto for just such change and creating an alternative lifestyle.

Life, Relationship, Jobs and Everything

AA25088w250ACE applies to all aspects of life. So many of us forget we have options and so become stressed and unhappy with unsuitable jobs, relationships or lifestyles.

The answer is to for us to take responsibility for our own situation and take control. The secret is to create an alternative plan otherwise it is all too easy to run from one problem straight into another. Whichever choice is made it should be a considered decision with an understanding of the possible consequences; but above all see such dififculties as an opportunity.

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